Under the Mattress

The following excerpt is from Comic Verse: a collection of poetry about comedians by Ben Shakey. It will be published by John Wing Press in June 2009

Under the Mattress

I

A touring stand up told me
check under the hotel mattress

“Comics, bar band musicians, traveling salesmen, speakers at tradeshows -
leave stuff for the next guy”


In the very center
where the housekeeping doesn’t look
when tightening the sheets

To date:

a great deal of pornography including a polaroid of a man with a glassy eyed exotic dancer
and a cookie monster puppet

a comedian’s promotional headshot (he may have masturbated to his own image)

a flattened joint in a Ziploc bag,
a pizza flyer with a rave review on a post it note

a paranormal magazine about Bigfoot and UFOs
(these last three may be realted in their way)

II

He also told me

look in the bedside Gideon placed Bible

To date I have found nothing in these

Except once, written in the inside cover,
with careful penmanship trying to approximate the type print was

“This is a work of fiction,
any similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental”